If I had the Time

If I had the Time ... and energy of course.
I'd comment on every blog post that interested me.
I'd write clever and well thought out posts on my own blog.

I'd watch a movie every evening with my husband.
I'd reply to every email I receive.
I'd call my family members regularly (more than once a year).

I'd finish all those crafty projects that seemed like such good ideas at the time.
Projects with all the materials purchased but stored in my closet because there simple wasn't time or energy ... or both.

Then of course, I'd write a book about all I'd achieved because I had time and energy.
I'm sure I'd make millions because everyone would like to know ...
How in the world did she get all the time and energy?

I know this because that's what I wonder about the people I read about ...
when I have time ... and energy of course.

Complaining

So, I'm really happy to be pregnant and all the ultrasounds show a healthy active baby. So, what is there to complain about? Well, I have Behcet's disease which is an autoimmune disorder that causes all kinds of problems. It's not a big deal when I take the immune suppressing medicine I'm prescribed but I'm not supposed to take any medicine when I'm pregnant. Also, the pregnancy hormones affect the severity of the symptoms. Bottom-line I'm getting hammered. Ulcers through out my digestive tract, bruise-like lesions on my legs, inflamed sinuses and now I have a new symptom of raised itchy bumps on my legs. Since all these symptoms are quite uncomfortable, I'm finding it difficult to sleep and lack of sleep is a contributor to the severity of the Behcet's symptoms.

Last week, I had to be put on a course of steroids because the symptoms got so bad that I thought I might miscarry. Fortunately, after a trip to the emergency room the doctor confirmed that the pregnancy was not in jeopardy. No sooner had I gotten off the steroids that many of the symptoms returned. A couple of days ago, I finally crashed and slept for 11 hours. It felt so good but I still woke up tired.

So, I'm sitting on my couch, still in my pajamas and feeling sorry for myself wondering how in the world am I going to get through the next 6 months of this pregnancy.