Distraction Kills Children

I actually have other things that I planned to post, but I saw an article on Excite News that I just have to say something about.

Sentences Vary When Kids Die in Hot Cars

The article tells the story of a father who simply forgot to take his daughter inside when he got home and had so many things going on that he didn't think about her for 7 hours. I know that our initial thoughts are "How could a responsible adult let that happen?".

I don't have children so the only example I have is something I forgot at work yesterday. I have a very important task to do before I left work. It was simple enough, run a report from our system before the weekend when the system would be taken down for maintenance. I had prepared for this all week sending out emails to users warning about the system outage and how they had to have their data entered before I ran the report. Then halfway through the bus ride home, I gasped as I realized I hadn't run the report. I was on a commuter bus so there was no way I could go back and the system would be taken off line in just 30 minutes. Fortunately, I called around until I found someone who was available to run the report for me. I owe the person donuts or something for saving my "bacon".

The reason I share this recent experience is because I can understand how a mind can become so crowded with thoughts that the important things can get pushed out. Anyone with ADD can understand what I'm talking about. Yes, I have ADD and I went through several years of treatment and therapy to learn how to train my brain around the things that make ADD difficult. Having a crowded brain which is easily distracted is one of those difficulties. The thing is ADD can be a temporary condition for anyone that is experiencing a particularly busy or stressful day. So, anyone could forget something as important as their own child.

As I read the article, I was thinking "this could happen to me". I can remember the complete story of a movie that I watched when I was 6 years old but I would as the cliche goes "forget my head if it weren't attached". It is a frightening thought. My only defense from such a tragedy would be to practice something that I learned to cope with ADD in general. Repitition; create a habit of checking and to create such a habit you have to check every time. In a way, it is like learned obsessive complusion. So, if I had children I would check the car seat every time I got out of the car even if I thought I didn't have the children with me.

What does it take? 2 seconds?

So, I have been tagged again on another fun activity. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

I got Tagged ... Twice!!!

It's like a chain email only it's with blogs. Anyway, there are rules I'm supposed to follow and one of the rules is that I have to put the rules first.

The Rules: "Each person posts the rules before their list, then they list 8 things about themselves. At the end of the post, that person tags and links to 8 other people and then visits those peoples' sites and comments letting them know that they have been tagged, and to come read the post, so they know what they have to do."

I'm not one for passing on chain emails but this tagging thing seemed like a good way to tell other people about my blog as well as sharing some blogs that I enjoy. I got tagged by Choc Mint Girl and Heaven Above. Now maybe I'm supposed to do 16 of everything because I got tagged twice but I had a hard enough time just doing 8!

1. I often have very dark thoughts that I find somewhat disturbing because I really am a very optimistic person. I think this has to do with having some very dark experiences so I know how brutal life can be but I also know how resilient we all are and that life is so worth it!

2. I love to touch rose petals. They are so soft and delicate.

3. Although I am a technology nerd, I don't own every new gadget. I'm really cheap that way and I will only buy the gadgets I really have a use for and by that time there are newer and better gadgets out.

4. I desparately want to have a child; my husband isn't sure he wants kids. I love my husband and we have a wonderful relationship. I knew about his concern regarding kids when we got married (many years ago) and at the time I honestly thought that I could deal with it. In many ways, this is more challenging than anything else I've dealt with in my life. It is so much easier when there is someone you can blame and hate; a "bad" person.

5. The song "The Greatest Love of All" is my theme song.

6. When I was 12 or 13 I was introduced to Rock and Roll (the members of my family are Country Music folks) and I loved it. One day, my mother caught me jumping on my bed, head banging and singing "Shout, Shout, let it all out" at the top of my lungs. I suspect that she thought I was possessed.

7. Wonder Woman was my hero. I wanted to be able to fight the bad guys the way she did. Beat the crap out of them but still be a lady.

8. A group of my co-workers and I like to joke about writing a musical based on the crazy things that happen at our work. Perhaps, I'll post the opening scene as my next entry!

So, there are the 8 things about myself. Now for the 8 bloggers that I'll be tagging.

1. Correr Es Mi Destino
2. Bizzy Girl's World
3. Herbal Renaissance
4. Amel's Realm
5. Mollotov Cocktail
6. Culumovic
7. Ramblings
8. It's Like You Know ...

For all of you who are following the tag chain, happy blog browsing and happy blogging!

The Curse of Cussing

After I posted my last blog entry, it was as if the heavens either conspired against me or decided to test my resolve. I just got slammed with things to do! I had a house guest for two weeks, had a few nights of overtime at work, was asked to create some little origami flowers as gifts for the new members of my women's club and I was elected to the position of Vice President of Education in my Toastmaster's club.

The problem with being self-deluded is that you believe you can accomplish 30 hours worth of stuff in the 24 hour day!

So, I finally got back to blogging and I really enjoyed following the links left by the people who commented on my posts. I love the comments and I really enjoyed the blogs! And anytime I start reading blogs, I follow interesting links from one blog to another and find my way through a maze of topics and interests. It is like heaven for someone with a short attention span!

As I read along, I became aware of a trend that is not unique to blogging. The occasional sometimes frequent use of the "F" word. I'm sure that some people will think that I am very conservative or hyper-religious or whatever. Think what you may. I do not like that word! I hear it more and more in movies, in music on the street. To me it is "fingernails on the chalkboard". It represents all the horrible types of sexual intercourse; abuse, rape, incest, etc. So when someone says "FU" it is like they are wishing all those horrible things on the other person.

I just don't understand why people want to use such a disgusting word. In most cases, it isn't necessary. It doesn't help the story line, or make the point. In my opinion it detracts. It degrades the person who uses it.

I certainly am not perfect when it comes to cussing. I've been known to occasionally use the less offensive four-letter words. I'm trying to stop use them all together. When I was very young, I learned at least one swear word from my dad who used them on occasion when the cows just weren't cooperating. Over the years he replaced the four-letter words with more creative expression to please my mother who really disliked any foul language.

I think I'll start using those expressions ...

Grab all Friday!
Great Caesar's Ghost!
Cotton Pickin'!

Then there was my grandmother's ... Fooey! (different inflections of the voice while saying this expletive created different meanings)

And my mother's ... Fiddle Sticks!

Perhaps I'll make up my own ...

What a pile of nibbily bits!
Goofy and Mickey!

Or quote cartoon characters like Sylvester the Cat ... Suffering Succotash!

I guess my point is that cussing is really not necessary and having a funny cuss word to say really relieves tension much better than an actual cuss word. It would also get everyone to smile!

**UPDATE 8-6-14 - It is interesting how my opinions have changed.  I have lived such a sheltered life that I rarely interacted with people that didn't share my same beliefs or more correctly the beliefs I'd been raised with.  When I have been put in situations to interact with people who were different from me, I quickly dropped my prejudices as I came to see that they were generally good people.  I'd literally been brainwashed to think that anyone who didn't conform to the beliefs I was taught as a child was evil.  That included myself which explains why I've always struggled with guilt and a feeling that I was evil.  Pretty fucked up in my opinion.

Do I have time to Blog?

Here I am, it's 10:00 pm and really time for me to be in bed because I have to go to work in the morning. I've been thinking about a post I wanted to make for the last four days and just haven't gotten around to it. Too many things in my real life to be done.

So tonight, I sit down at the computer to look at what is left on my ever expanding "to do" list and since that is kind of discouraging I easily get distracted checking my email. In one email the title of an article catches my eye: "Five Sensible Tips for Achieving Work-Life Balance" Could this article contain the precious nugget of knowledge that will make all my dreams come true?

Unfortunately not. It is not that the suggestions weren't good. Almost all of them made sense to me, except for the one from a woman who only sleeps 6 hours a night. I am one of those strange people that really does need 8 hours of sleep! As with any realistic plan for improvement it requires changing habits. An extremely difficult thing for any one to do, myself included.

So as much as I would like to spend each evening practicing my writing skills on this blog, the demands of my work and personal life have to be meet. On the blogs that I visit regularly, I am impressed with how often those bloggers post. How do they make the time? Am I just a slacker that I can't do it all?

How do you manage it? Comments any one?

Delusions vs. Daydreams

The other day my husband asked me why I call this site Self Delusions and I told him it was because it sounded more interesting than Daydreams. After all, people who have delusions of being important use important sounding words. The same day I logged onto the Internet as was greeted by the following quote:

"Nothing causes self-delusion quite so readily as power."
Liu Binyan

Truth is I really don't have much power so that couldn't be the cause of my delusions or daydreams. After doing a bit more searching I found this quote which is closer to my situation:

"Delusions may be the only things which render life tolerable, and, as such, are jealously defended against all the assaults of reason."
Anthony Storr

My most jealously defended delusion is that something I have to say may be helpful to another human being. I've always thought this was proof that I am genuinely a good person. While listening to a radio program, I learned that many altruistic actions are really quite selfish. Perhaps the person doesn't want to feel guilty or wants others to see them as a good person. I think I fall into both categories. So, now I wonder if anyone does anything for unselfish reasons? Maybe we are all self-delusional?

Truth is I have thought about writing a book (or books) for years now. My thoughts have bounced around several topics. However, this small venture into writing a blog didn't start until one day I read the following quote:

"We can think a thought to death but only when we move upon the thought do we bless human lives."
Thomas S. Monson

Suddenly, I was feeling guilty that someone out there in that great big world needed my wisdom and I was selfishly keeping it to myself out of pure laziness!

Let the delusions continue!

**UPDATE 8-6-2014 - I now have a different and not very positive opinion about Thomas S. Monson who is the current president of the LDS religion.  Once I found the LDS religion to be based upon a fraud, I tend to consider the higher-up leaders to be nothing more than very successful con-artists.

Blog Browsing

As I move past the dark mood that overtook me during the Memorial Day weekend, I am looking for insights on what makes a good blog. After all, if I am to achieve the self-delusion of people actually reading what I write I have to let my future readers know that I am here.

Is it appropriate to blog about my journey through blog world? What the heck I'm going to do it anyway.

Upon reaching the blogger login page, I notice their most recent addition to Blogs of Note: Once Upon a Feast I love food so I had to check it out. The pictures of the food were awesome and really made me hungry for some good Italian pasta. Then I noticed that the site had been nominated for Best Food Blog by Blogger's Choice Awards. What's that?? I had to check that out at: Blogger's Choice Awards They have lots of categories to chose from and because I am a sucker for cute animal pictures I checked out the Best Animal Blogger Cute Overload Definitely, a fun site for cute animal pictures. That didn't hold my interest too long and I returned to check out the Best Blog about Blogging. Only I didn't actually look at any of the blogs because I knew that I would stay for a while and I really just wanted to make a quick post before going back to my real life. Then I saw the category for Best Photography Blog and I had to see what was there. My husband sometimes thinks about quiting his day job and going professional with his photography and so I like to check out the competition. I looked at a couple of sites but the one I really enjoyed was The Pioneer Woman. I do think her pictures are nice but my loyalty must remain with my dear husband. What I liked was the stories she told. Perhaps because they remind me of my early years growing up on a farm. Her descriptions of her husband were right on target; she could have been describing one of my cowboy brothers.

After several hours, I realized that I still hadn't posted to my blog and I'd spent much more time than I had intended. Blog browsing can be very time consuming and quite addictive. So, perhaps on another journey through the blog world I'll actually learn how to publicize my site.

Memorial Day

When I was a child, Memorial Day was spent visiting the graves of family members who had passed on. I moved away from home over 10 years ago and haven't had any graves to visit. For me Memorial Day has just become a welcome break from work; except for this year.

This year, my nephew is serving his second tour in Iraq. He is home with his wife and three children for two weeks leave and I got to talk to him briefly on the phone. It was good to hear his voice particularly because he sounded happy. Sure, he would be happy to be home visiting his family, but I was listening for any hint of trouble in his voice.

Of course, I worry about my nephew losing his life in Iraq. I also worry about him losing himself. I know people who were in the Vietnam War and the stories they tell make me worry for my nephew. My uncle was in the Vietnam War and when he returned his wife once woke him from a bad dream only to have him knock her out cold. In the dream he was still in Vietnam and he just reacted. My uncle was able to work through the damage that had been done to him during his tour of duty, but not all veterans have been so lucky.

Memorial Day is a day of remembrance and I wish that the leaders of our country had remembered the horrors of Vietnam when they were so eager to "save" Iraq. I am no expert on the Vietnam War but I have taken the time to learn a bit about that time in our history. For those people who think our country is so virtuous, the history of the Vietnam would be a surprise. It is not that I don't appreciate the freedoms that I enjoy in this country; I have just recognized that we are not perfect. With that understanding, we should learn from our mistakes to ensure that another generation is not scarred by a tragedy such as Vietnam.

It is also important to recognize that it is not just our people who are scarred. Many people across Southeast Asia were harmed by our actions during the Vietnam War. I recently visited Laos and I was troubled to learn that Laos was the most heavily bombed country in the Vietnam War. US pilots dropped bombs on Laos just to get rid of the bombs before landing in Thailand. Can you imagine how the people of Laos felt about that? Particularly when many of the Hmong hill tribe people were fighting the Viet Cong with us. The US secretly placed service men in Laos despite a Geneva Convention Agreement that Laos remain neutral. How can we ask other country's to abide by international law when we don't do it ourselves. Our careless actions such as these are often fueling the hatred towards the US.

It is my sincere hope that our leaders will make better decisions regarding foreign policy. We can not continue to act like the big school bully even under the guise that we are doing it for everyone's good. Not only is it not true, but everyone sees through it.

Vietnam: A Television History

In Love and War: The Story of a Family's Ordeal and Sacrifice During the Vietnam Years