So, I'm up way past my bedtime browsing sites trying to get ideas for the design of my husband's website. Honestly, design is not my talent and right about now I'm considering paying a friend of mine to do the design.
Anyway, I browsed onto the Webby Awards site and found the site Jonathan Yuen.
Wow! I'm impressed. It's really quite beautiful, I can see why he won for the aesthetic design category. I just had to share it with someone.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Becoming a [Blog] Writer
I've been reading this book "Becoming a Writer" by Dorothea Brande. I got the book for Christmas but I'm just now starting to read it. Actually, taking only six months to get around to reading a book is pretty good for me.
So, this book was actually written in 1934 and is has just recently been republished. It really isn't a "How To" type book obsessed with techniques of character development. The author focuses more on the psyche of the fledgling writer and all the neuroses that these individuals have. When I first started reading the book, I was getting quite excited because it seemed that despite all my hang-ups that I had a chance of eventually breaking through and becoming a writer. The author provides some excersizes which are aimed at unblocking any writer's block and helping the novice writer find thier style.
Then I read the following: "If you fail repeatedly at this exercise, give up writing. Your resistance is actually greater than your desire to write, and you may as well find some other outlet for your energy early as late."
Before I'd read this sentance, I was already thinking that I didn't have to follow the excersize exactly as the author outlined it. The excersize is just too rigid for me and I just can't include it in my life the way she specifies. So, maybe I'm doomed to fail. My enthusiasm has already wained and I haven't picked up the book to continue reading it for a week or so now.
To be a writer or not to be a writer... I guess only will time will tell for sure. It does seem that the forecast is not so good because I struggle just to take time to write a few words on this blog.
I take encouragement from Zhu at Correr Es Mi Destino. Honestly, this isn't just a brown-nosing thing because Zhu always leaves comments on my post. I drop in on Zhu's blog once in a while and I always enjoy myself. That is the true test of a good writer. People coming back for more. Anyway, part of my reason for bringing up Zhu is that she's been doing a series on "How to Blog". I really like it. I also realized that many of her suggestions could be applied to my blog. It's a bit boring, I know. Something else to improve upon.
I will perserve and perhaps one day I will become a [blog] writer.
So, this book was actually written in 1934 and is has just recently been republished. It really isn't a "How To" type book obsessed with techniques of character development. The author focuses more on the psyche of the fledgling writer and all the neuroses that these individuals have. When I first started reading the book, I was getting quite excited because it seemed that despite all my hang-ups that I had a chance of eventually breaking through and becoming a writer. The author provides some excersizes which are aimed at unblocking any writer's block and helping the novice writer find thier style.
Then I read the following: "If you fail repeatedly at this exercise, give up writing. Your resistance is actually greater than your desire to write, and you may as well find some other outlet for your energy early as late."
Before I'd read this sentance, I was already thinking that I didn't have to follow the excersize exactly as the author outlined it. The excersize is just too rigid for me and I just can't include it in my life the way she specifies. So, maybe I'm doomed to fail. My enthusiasm has already wained and I haven't picked up the book to continue reading it for a week or so now.
To be a writer or not to be a writer... I guess only will time will tell for sure. It does seem that the forecast is not so good because I struggle just to take time to write a few words on this blog.
I take encouragement from Zhu at Correr Es Mi Destino. Honestly, this isn't just a brown-nosing thing because Zhu always leaves comments on my post. I drop in on Zhu's blog once in a while and I always enjoy myself. That is the true test of a good writer. People coming back for more. Anyway, part of my reason for bringing up Zhu is that she's been doing a series on "How to Blog". I really like it. I also realized that many of her suggestions could be applied to my blog. It's a bit boring, I know. Something else to improve upon.
I will perserve and perhaps one day I will become a [blog] writer.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Brainwashing or Teaching?
I have complained many times on my blog regarding the my inability to make time for writing. I will not complain more, I only want to say that I wish someone would invent a mechanism for capturing thoughts and instantly transcribing them to a blog. It would be such a time savings, though quite possibly unintelligible.
In my thoughts over the last several weeks are on the events surrounding the raid on the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is a tragedy on so many levels. The obvious tragedy is that young girls have been forced into marriages. Anyone watching the interviews with the mothers whose children have been taken from them can sympathize with their grief. It may be easier for us to justify taking custody of the kids if we imagine these people to be monsters. I think perhaps some of them are the perverted monsters we want to imagine but many of them are good people trying to live their religion.
How is it that a "good" person could allow their underage daughter to be married to a much older man? What if you were taught from the time you were young that this is natural and the way to godliness? If you didn't know any other life but this, it would not seem strange at all. At that suggestion, the response seems to be that the members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have been brainwashed and they are brainwashing their kids? If you ask them, they will say they are just teaching their kids the right way to live. The fact is there are many different cultures through out the world that are different from ours and just being different doesn't make them wrong. However, there are certain morals which need to be upheld and one of those is the right of each person to make his or her own choices.
The difference between brainwashing and teaching is the ability for the recipient to truly make their own choices. The trouble is that there is a fine line between brainwashing and teaching. I'm not a parent so I can only rely on my experiences from when I was young. I think that at times my parents crossed into the brainwashing realm. They aren't evil people by any means. They were doing their best to teach their children right from wrong. To this day, I can hear my mother telling me "people who smoke are bad, smoking is evil". It wasn't until I had graduated from college that I learned that my mother's father got addicted to smoking and it caused problems with his lungs. He died when my mother was a young girl. She was brainwashing us to keep us from even trying a cigarette. She was afraid that genetically we too would be predisposed to the same lung problems and if we picked up smoking we too would die young.
The question from my example is: Did I avoid smoking because I consciously chose to do so or did I avoid it because I was afraid of what my mother would say? The bottom-line is that most kids want their parent's approval and that desire is so strong that sometimes it can be difficult to tell why you made certain choices.
Assuming that the adult members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints were only trying to teach their culture to their children and didn't intentionally do any brainwashing, does that make the underage marriages OK? I don't think it does. If I struggle to separate my parents' desires for me from my own choice and I'm thirty-something, how much more difficult would it be for a teenager? I don't think teenagers should be forced into marriage ... period! Marriage is difficult enough with out the added burden of immaturity and going through puberty at the same time. Add to that the complexities of a polygamous marriage and to an older man. This is abuse, whether intended or not.
This truly is a very complicated situation where it can be difficult to determine right or wrong. Was it right to take custody of kids who might be abused? Is it wrong to separate parents from their children and take away those parents' right to raise their children in their own beliefs? What is the correct solution to this situation?
Many years ago, a sociology teacher explained our personal rights in the following fashion: "My right to throw a punch ends when I impede upon your right to be safe from violence." The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints claims the right to practice their religion as they chose, but that right ends when they take away the rights of others and the children have the right to a childhood free of fear and abuse.
From my own experience as an sexually abused teenager, I am in favor of taking the children into custody. Why? Because underage marriage is abuse not a religion. Because the beliefs and isolation of the church made it difficult for any abused child to seek or receive help. I know what it feels like to be trapped in an abusive situation and not know how to get out. Being too young and too afraid to speak up. How I wished that someone would notice my plight and step in to protect me.
As I mentioned the right way to address this situation is not clear cut. There are probably kids who were never abused and this separation is creating problems for them. I do sympathize with them. This is why it is a tragedy on so many levels and it was so unnecessary. The why it was unnecessary will have to be the topic of another post because I'll have to explain polygamy from a Mormon's perspective.
In my thoughts over the last several weeks are on the events surrounding the raid on the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is a tragedy on so many levels. The obvious tragedy is that young girls have been forced into marriages. Anyone watching the interviews with the mothers whose children have been taken from them can sympathize with their grief. It may be easier for us to justify taking custody of the kids if we imagine these people to be monsters. I think perhaps some of them are the perverted monsters we want to imagine but many of them are good people trying to live their religion.
How is it that a "good" person could allow their underage daughter to be married to a much older man? What if you were taught from the time you were young that this is natural and the way to godliness? If you didn't know any other life but this, it would not seem strange at all. At that suggestion, the response seems to be that the members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have been brainwashed and they are brainwashing their kids? If you ask them, they will say they are just teaching their kids the right way to live. The fact is there are many different cultures through out the world that are different from ours and just being different doesn't make them wrong. However, there are certain morals which need to be upheld and one of those is the right of each person to make his or her own choices.
The difference between brainwashing and teaching is the ability for the recipient to truly make their own choices. The trouble is that there is a fine line between brainwashing and teaching. I'm not a parent so I can only rely on my experiences from when I was young. I think that at times my parents crossed into the brainwashing realm. They aren't evil people by any means. They were doing their best to teach their children right from wrong. To this day, I can hear my mother telling me "people who smoke are bad, smoking is evil". It wasn't until I had graduated from college that I learned that my mother's father got addicted to smoking and it caused problems with his lungs. He died when my mother was a young girl. She was brainwashing us to keep us from even trying a cigarette. She was afraid that genetically we too would be predisposed to the same lung problems and if we picked up smoking we too would die young.
The question from my example is: Did I avoid smoking because I consciously chose to do so or did I avoid it because I was afraid of what my mother would say? The bottom-line is that most kids want their parent's approval and that desire is so strong that sometimes it can be difficult to tell why you made certain choices.
Assuming that the adult members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints were only trying to teach their culture to their children and didn't intentionally do any brainwashing, does that make the underage marriages OK? I don't think it does. If I struggle to separate my parents' desires for me from my own choice and I'm thirty-something, how much more difficult would it be for a teenager? I don't think teenagers should be forced into marriage ... period! Marriage is difficult enough with out the added burden of immaturity and going through puberty at the same time. Add to that the complexities of a polygamous marriage and to an older man. This is abuse, whether intended or not.
This truly is a very complicated situation where it can be difficult to determine right or wrong. Was it right to take custody of kids who might be abused? Is it wrong to separate parents from their children and take away those parents' right to raise their children in their own beliefs? What is the correct solution to this situation?
Many years ago, a sociology teacher explained our personal rights in the following fashion: "My right to throw a punch ends when I impede upon your right to be safe from violence." The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints claims the right to practice their religion as they chose, but that right ends when they take away the rights of others and the children have the right to a childhood free of fear and abuse.
From my own experience as an sexually abused teenager, I am in favor of taking the children into custody. Why? Because underage marriage is abuse not a religion. Because the beliefs and isolation of the church made it difficult for any abused child to seek or receive help. I know what it feels like to be trapped in an abusive situation and not know how to get out. Being too young and too afraid to speak up. How I wished that someone would notice my plight and step in to protect me.
As I mentioned the right way to address this situation is not clear cut. There are probably kids who were never abused and this separation is creating problems for them. I do sympathize with them. This is why it is a tragedy on so many levels and it was so unnecessary. The why it was unnecessary will have to be the topic of another post because I'll have to explain polygamy from a Mormon's perspective.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Seeking After These Things
Wow! It's been a long time since I posted. I guess I got overwhelmed with other things ... like work! The last few weeks I've been trying to think of how I can fit this blog in with everything else I'm trying to do. Sometimes, my biggest challenges result from my desire to do everything and be everything. In reality there just isn't enough time in the day or energy in my body for it all.
So, today I'm supposed to be watching the Latter-Day Saint General Conference and all I'm hearing is blah-blah-blah. Just for those of you not familiar with this conference, it is a bi-annual event where all LDS folks (a.k.a Mormons) tune into a broadcast from Salt Lake City. In many cases, the conference addresses are inspirational and uplifting. Because I have a tendency to be a bit more liberal than mainstream mormons, I do find some things a bit challenging. I don't think I was even listening today. That may be because I've got a cold and not feeling well does have a tendency to make me disinterested in most things.
While listening to the conference, I found myself browsing the internet following links from one post to the next. Some of the posts were written by ex-mormons and others by mormons. I wasn't looking for anything specific just following the links that had an interesting title. I was happy to find that some of the posts by ex-mormons were respectful which isn't always the case. I was also happy to find some posts by mormons which were open-minded which isn't always the case. It was encouraging because I truly hate bitter arguments about religion. The bottom-line is that religion is a matter of faith. It can not be proved or disproved so why fight over it.
Reading these posts today reminded me of the simple precepts that are held up as our Articles of Faith. The two which came to mind are numbers 11 and 13:
#11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
#13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
I have my own struggles with my religion. There are things I don't understand and things that frustrate me. Even so, I hold dearly onto my right to have my religion and I don't like others knocking my religion. I don't think any religion is perfect because they are all dependent on people who are not perfect. I've done some investigation of other christian religions and have found things that I don't like about them as well. So, what would be the point of making a change.
I love that the LDS religion was founded by man who once was a 14 year-old boy who had questions. Today, it seems that those who have questions are problematic. People don't know how to handle the questions. They are afraid that to question is to risk apostasy. I am learning to embrace my questions. They are my heritage. It is only when we question that we grow. This church would not exist if it had not been for a question.
The response that Joseph Smith received to his question was considered heretical to some who had closed their minds to other possibilities. Perhaps that is why Joseph Smith tried to promote open-mindedness through the thirteenth article of faith. If we are seeking out the good things wherever they may be found, then we will have open-minds. A little open-mindedness and true Christlike love for others would go a long way to making this world a better place.
UPDATE 8-8-2014 - Where do I even start updating this post? Maybe I should just point out my more recent posts that explain my complete loss of religion. I still do not like bitter arguments about religion because I just don't see the point. No one knows for sure if there is or is not a god or a life after this. I am feeling quite angry towards the mormon religion in particular because I feel like I've been lied to for most of my life. The Articles of Faith mentioned above was simply one of the church's earliest attempts at public relations and it is well perfected now. There are so many things said or written publicly which don't reflect the actual beliefs and teachings. It also seems that the church changes it's position as needed to stay in favor with it's conservative base. There is no open-mindedness or ability to ask questions. That was recently and publicly demonstrated when the church excommunicated a woman for asking that women be given the priesthood. Oddly enough the church is more conservative now than it was at it's beginning.
I do find it amusing that I'm now a devil atheist just like my only commenter on this post, Zhu. At least I'm in good company.
So, today I'm supposed to be watching the Latter-Day Saint General Conference and all I'm hearing is blah-blah-blah. Just for those of you not familiar with this conference, it is a bi-annual event where all LDS folks (a.k.a Mormons) tune into a broadcast from Salt Lake City. In many cases, the conference addresses are inspirational and uplifting. Because I have a tendency to be a bit more liberal than mainstream mormons, I do find some things a bit challenging. I don't think I was even listening today. That may be because I've got a cold and not feeling well does have a tendency to make me disinterested in most things.
While listening to the conference, I found myself browsing the internet following links from one post to the next. Some of the posts were written by ex-mormons and others by mormons. I wasn't looking for anything specific just following the links that had an interesting title. I was happy to find that some of the posts by ex-mormons were respectful which isn't always the case. I was also happy to find some posts by mormons which were open-minded which isn't always the case. It was encouraging because I truly hate bitter arguments about religion. The bottom-line is that religion is a matter of faith. It can not be proved or disproved so why fight over it.
Reading these posts today reminded me of the simple precepts that are held up as our Articles of Faith. The two which came to mind are numbers 11 and 13:
#11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
#13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
I have my own struggles with my religion. There are things I don't understand and things that frustrate me. Even so, I hold dearly onto my right to have my religion and I don't like others knocking my religion. I don't think any religion is perfect because they are all dependent on people who are not perfect. I've done some investigation of other christian religions and have found things that I don't like about them as well. So, what would be the point of making a change.
I love that the LDS religion was founded by man who once was a 14 year-old boy who had questions. Today, it seems that those who have questions are problematic. People don't know how to handle the questions. They are afraid that to question is to risk apostasy. I am learning to embrace my questions. They are my heritage. It is only when we question that we grow. This church would not exist if it had not been for a question.
The response that Joseph Smith received to his question was considered heretical to some who had closed their minds to other possibilities. Perhaps that is why Joseph Smith tried to promote open-mindedness through the thirteenth article of faith. If we are seeking out the good things wherever they may be found, then we will have open-minds. A little open-mindedness and true Christlike love for others would go a long way to making this world a better place.
UPDATE 8-8-2014 - Where do I even start updating this post? Maybe I should just point out my more recent posts that explain my complete loss of religion. I still do not like bitter arguments about religion because I just don't see the point. No one knows for sure if there is or is not a god or a life after this. I am feeling quite angry towards the mormon religion in particular because I feel like I've been lied to for most of my life. The Articles of Faith mentioned above was simply one of the church's earliest attempts at public relations and it is well perfected now. There are so many things said or written publicly which don't reflect the actual beliefs and teachings. It also seems that the church changes it's position as needed to stay in favor with it's conservative base. There is no open-mindedness or ability to ask questions. That was recently and publicly demonstrated when the church excommunicated a woman for asking that women be given the priesthood. Oddly enough the church is more conservative now than it was at it's beginning.
I do find it amusing that I'm now a devil atheist just like my only commenter on this post, Zhu. At least I'm in good company.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The Bag Lady Stories
Earlier this week I was browsing around Zhu's blog and saw a meme that she had done. It was the "What's in your bag" meme. I loved it!! I ended up following the links to all the people she had tagged and on to some people they had tagged. Maybe I'm nosy or something but I thought it was a lot of fun. I was absolutely rolling when I saw this meme done by "the frogster" on the blog The Frog Bog.
I take the bus to work and sometimes I'm carrying several bags with me. So, I willingly refer to myself as the "Bag Lady" on those days. I feel that there is a "bag for every purpose and a purpose for every bag". Here are the stories of all my bags.
The yoga bag:
Pearl art supply stores were having a promotion where if you bought enough big things like 3 foot by 4 foot sheets of picture matting they gave you a free bag. Well, I wanted the bag because my yoga mat was really a camping mat (the kind you sleep on when camping) and it was big. I liked my camping/yoga mat because it was softer than the traditional yoga mat and my knees hurt if I don't have some cushioning. Well, fortunately my husband needed to buy some matting for his photos and I got the bag!!
The beach bag:
This bag was a gift from some very good friends. Not only is it my favorite color but it is also the perfect size for a bag a snacks, a beach towel, something to drink and a book. It is also OK to wash this bag in the washing machine so it really is perfect for going to the beach.
The Sunday school bag:
It was a Christmas gift from our host daughter an exchange student from Thailand. it is just the right size for my scriptures, the lesson manuals and a notebook for me to capture great ideas. My husband claims that I'm planning on starting a church of my own and that's why I'm taking notes. I particularly like to take this bag to church because the little babies are fascinated by the flashy decorations. This gives me a chance to play with the baby. That totally distracts me from taking notes but it is so much more fun.
The Toastmasters bag:
This bag isn't actually from the Toastmaster's organization it is just the bag I use to keep all my Toastmaster's stuff together. This bag was part of the new employee package at my current job. You could probably tell that it was a "gift" from the health insurance providers who were competing for the new employees' attention. This past weekend I celebrated my five year anniversary working for the same organization. I moved to a different department about six months ago to escape the Dr. Evil boss otherwise I wouldn't have made it to five years.
Miscellaneous other bags:
This is an assortment of bags that I use occasionally. The little black and brown bag I picked up in Thailand because I needed something small to carry a little cash, my Thai to English book, a cell phone and some chap stick. I still use it any time I just need to carry a few things with me and a pants pocket just isn't big enough. The white bag with pink handles is for sneaking popcorn into the movies. It is a very specialized bag. My sister gave it to me and I just haven't found any other purpose for it. The black bag with the beautiful needle work on it was purchased in Laos and it is the bag I carry with me when I'm following my husband around on one of his photography outings. Because he spends so much time getting just the right shot, I need something to do. I'll carry a book, some water and anything else to keep me entertained while I wait.
The very, very special bag:
This bag is a very special bag because I searched for it and I found not just what I was looking for but I found what my heart desired. I wanted a sleek purse that could keep me organized. Something that was set up for my planner but had space for a cell phone, all my credit cards, and a pen. Then I found the perfect bag and even better they had the style in red!! However this bag was supposed to be for work and I need to look professional. Red is not a conservative color and I have been raised a conservative.
The dilemma was heart wrenching. I picked up the black purse and looked it over. I picked up the red purse and put it back. I started to the register with the black one and then went back for the red one. I started at it for awhile. Red will definitely not match my clothes every day. I'm really not the type of person who will change my purse to match my clothes. Usually I just have a black purse so it isn't a problem. But I really, really like the red purse. Well, as you can see, I did buy the red purse. It is such a beautiful purse.
After several years of enjoying my beautiful red purse, I noticed that more often than not it was getting shoved into my larger work bag because I just had too many things to carry. I now have a Blackberry so I don't need the paper planner and I found a small coin purse that fits my driver's license, some credit cards and some cash. So, now the red purse only comes out when I need to look professional and it's the only bag I'm going to carry. (i.e. job interviews)
The work bag:
It is a big black bag that carries everything I could possibly fit into it. It was acquired at a technology conference which is apparent from the not subtle advertising across the front.
Everything in this bag is absolutely essential. There is the umbrella for the always expected Florida rain, my little red bag for my makeup because I never have time to apply it before I leave the house so I do it on the bus on my way to work, my pink Clinique bag for discretely carrying unmentionables, 
a couple of books to read while I'm riding the bus and my work notebook because I occasionally feel like working on something even when I'm not at work. There is the miscellaneous little stuff like my employee id, my blackberry with wired ear piece (wireless ear pieces cost too much!!), a few pills, some hydro-cortizone (I think that got left in there one day when I had an annoying bug bite), and various papers which were at one time very important (they had to have been or I wouldn't have kept them).
There is more story behind this bag. At the technology conference where I got the bag, one of the tech companies had a party and hired an artist to draw caricatures of people as super heros. Wonder Woman was always my favorite super hero so of course I had the artist draw me as Wonder Woman.
Now, if I had a cool little invisible airplane too keep all my stuff in I wouldn't need so many bags. Well, maybe just one or two.
I'm going to tag: Amel, Victorya, and The Pioneer Woman
I take the bus to work and sometimes I'm carrying several bags with me. So, I willingly refer to myself as the "Bag Lady" on those days. I feel that there is a "bag for every purpose and a purpose for every bag". Here are the stories of all my bags.
The yoga bag:
Pearl art supply stores were having a promotion where if you bought enough big things like 3 foot by 4 foot sheets of picture matting they gave you a free bag. Well, I wanted the bag because my yoga mat was really a camping mat (the kind you sleep on when camping) and it was big. I liked my camping/yoga mat because it was softer than the traditional yoga mat and my knees hurt if I don't have some cushioning. Well, fortunately my husband needed to buy some matting for his photos and I got the bag!!
The beach bag:
This bag was a gift from some very good friends. Not only is it my favorite color but it is also the perfect size for a bag a snacks, a beach towel, something to drink and a book. It is also OK to wash this bag in the washing machine so it really is perfect for going to the beach.
The Sunday school bag:
It was a Christmas gift from our host daughter an exchange student from Thailand. it is just the right size for my scriptures, the lesson manuals and a notebook for me to capture great ideas. My husband claims that I'm planning on starting a church of my own and that's why I'm taking notes. I particularly like to take this bag to church because the little babies are fascinated by the flashy decorations. This gives me a chance to play with the baby. That totally distracts me from taking notes but it is so much more fun.
The Toastmasters bag:
This bag isn't actually from the Toastmaster's organization it is just the bag I use to keep all my Toastmaster's stuff together. This bag was part of the new employee package at my current job. You could probably tell that it was a "gift" from the health insurance providers who were competing for the new employees' attention. This past weekend I celebrated my five year anniversary working for the same organization. I moved to a different department about six months ago to escape the Dr. Evil boss otherwise I wouldn't have made it to five years.Miscellaneous other bags:
This is an assortment of bags that I use occasionally. The little black and brown bag I picked up in Thailand because I needed something small to carry a little cash, my Thai to English book, a cell phone and some chap stick. I still use it any time I just need to carry a few things with me and a pants pocket just isn't big enough. The white bag with pink handles is for sneaking popcorn into the movies. It is a very specialized bag. My sister gave it to me and I just haven't found any other purpose for it. The black bag with the beautiful needle work on it was purchased in Laos and it is the bag I carry with me when I'm following my husband around on one of his photography outings. Because he spends so much time getting just the right shot, I need something to do. I'll carry a book, some water and anything else to keep me entertained while I wait.The very, very special bag:
This bag is a very special bag because I searched for it and I found not just what I was looking for but I found what my heart desired. I wanted a sleek purse that could keep me organized. Something that was set up for my planner but had space for a cell phone, all my credit cards, and a pen. Then I found the perfect bag and even better they had the style in red!! However this bag was supposed to be for work and I need to look professional. Red is not a conservative color and I have been raised a conservative.
The dilemma was heart wrenching. I picked up the black purse and looked it over. I picked up the red purse and put it back. I started to the register with the black one and then went back for the red one. I started at it for awhile. Red will definitely not match my clothes every day. I'm really not the type of person who will change my purse to match my clothes. Usually I just have a black purse so it isn't a problem. But I really, really like the red purse. Well, as you can see, I did buy the red purse. It is such a beautiful purse.
After several years of enjoying my beautiful red purse, I noticed that more often than not it was getting shoved into my larger work bag because I just had too many things to carry. I now have a Blackberry so I don't need the paper planner and I found a small coin purse that fits my driver's license, some credit cards and some cash. So, now the red purse only comes out when I need to look professional and it's the only bag I'm going to carry. (i.e. job interviews)The work bag:
It is a big black bag that carries everything I could possibly fit into it. It was acquired at a technology conference which is apparent from the not subtle advertising across the front.
Everything in this bag is absolutely essential. There is the umbrella for the always expected Florida rain, my little red bag for my makeup because I never have time to apply it before I leave the house so I do it on the bus on my way to work, my pink Clinique bag for discretely carrying unmentionables, 
a couple of books to read while I'm riding the bus and my work notebook because I occasionally feel like working on something even when I'm not at work. There is the miscellaneous little stuff like my employee id, my blackberry with wired ear piece (wireless ear pieces cost too much!!), a few pills, some hydro-cortizone (I think that got left in there one day when I had an annoying bug bite), and various papers which were at one time very important (they had to have been or I wouldn't have kept them). There is more story behind this bag. At the technology conference where I got the bag, one of the tech companies had a party and hired an artist to draw caricatures of people as super heros. Wonder Woman was always my favorite super hero so of course I had the artist draw me as Wonder Woman.
Now, if I had a cool little invisible airplane too keep all my stuff in I wouldn't need so many bags. Well, maybe just one or two.
I'm going to tag: Amel, Victorya, and The Pioneer Woman
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Preventing the Sexual Abuse of Children
As promised back in September, I am posting some additional information on child sexual abuse. I actually gave a speech today in my Toastmasters Club on the topic so here is the information I prepared for that.
Here are some statistics that I got from the Darkness To Light website:
- Before age 18 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused
- There are 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in the United States
- 90% of sexually abused children are victimized by people they know
- 40% of sexual abuse cases have a perpetrator who is an older or larger child
- The median age of sexual abuse is 9 years old
- 70 to 80% of abused children have substance abuse problems as they get older
- 50% of abused boys have suicidal thoughts
- 60% of teen pregnancies are preceded by sexual abuse
A frightening statistic that I got from the website Keep Your Child Safe says that 1 in 20 adults have pedophile tendencies!
Now that I have scared the "you know what" out of you, how can we prevent child sexual abuse. Prevention is made difficult by the following factors: 80% of sexual abuse occurs in one-on-one situations and since parents think they can identify a perpetrator they don't worry about leaving their child alone with a "trusted" adult. Also, most children are naive about sex and sexual boundaries because their parents are uncomfortable talking about it. Parents also assume their child will tell them if they are abused.
Most importantly AVOID ONE-ON-ONE SITUATIONS WITH A CHILD!! Forgive the "screaming" but it is so simple that I had to emphasize the point. Don't be alone with a child and don't leave your child alone with any adult. When a one-on-one situation can not be avoided (the Darkness to Light website indicates that normal one-on-one time is good for a child's self esteem) make sure that some basic rules are followed.
- Get specifics about the plans
- Public places are best
- Drop in unexpectedly
- Notice your child’s behavior and response to questions when they return
- Announce that you and your child are educated about sexual abuse
Don't fall victim to the common misconception of a perpetrator who is the sulking man in a trench coat in the park. Sexual Abuse Perpetrators look and act “normal” and they very careful “groom” children for abuse. "Grooming" includes gaining the trust of parents and exposing the child to inappropriate talk and behavior slowly so that suspicions are not raised. Some parents worry that talking to their children about sex will take away their innocence. When handled appropriately talk about sex makes the child comfortable with their bodies and encourages them to continue talking with their parents. Most importantly it allows parents to teach their children sexual boundaries so that a perpetrator can not exploit the child's naivity. Children need to be told that abusers may be people he/she knows.
The misconception parents have that their children will tell them if they are abused, couldn't be more wrong. Children are more likely to tell a trusted adult other than a parent. Perpetrators of abuse use many tactics to ensure the child doesn’t tell. They threaten the child and his/her family. They tell the child it is their fault and how disappointed everyone will be if they knew. They will also tell the child that there is nothing wrong with the abuse, it is just a game. It's no wonder that when children do tell someone of the abuse they only share limited information to gauge the reaction.
Because of the child's hesitancy it is important how you react. It is critical that you remain observant of your child's behavior. Notice different or inappropriate behavior in your child and explore the reason why he/she is exhibiting this behavior. It is critical that you remain calm and objective. If the child senses that you are agitated, emotional or angry they will shut down. Children have a tendency to blame themselves and they don't want to make trouble. This is why the negative emotions can be scary for the child even if those emotions are not directed at the child. Ask open-ended questions of the child in a non-threatening way. Remember that only 1 to 4% of all reported sexual abuse cases are based on false accusations. So, your child is telling the truth make sure you acknowledge that because he/she needs your support.
Report any incidents of abuse and act on suspicions. The Darkness to Light website provided many resources for reporting abuse, getting assistance for abused children and even just to ask questions or help evaluating suspicions. Just one of those numbers is the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453
The statistics indicate that sexual abuse among children is of epidemic proportions. It is so important that we do all we can to stop this tragedy. Support organizations which work to prevent child abuse and support victims. One of the most valuable things that you can do is talk about the problem. If everyone got over their fears and discomfort regarding this subject many of the misconceptions wouldn't exist. The more educated people are the less likely they will be to leave an opporutnity for their child to be sexually abused.
Here are some statistics that I got from the Darkness To Light website:
- Before age 18 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused
- There are 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in the United States
- 90% of sexually abused children are victimized by people they know
- 40% of sexual abuse cases have a perpetrator who is an older or larger child
- The median age of sexual abuse is 9 years old
- 70 to 80% of abused children have substance abuse problems as they get older
- 50% of abused boys have suicidal thoughts
- 60% of teen pregnancies are preceded by sexual abuse
A frightening statistic that I got from the website Keep Your Child Safe says that 1 in 20 adults have pedophile tendencies!
Now that I have scared the "you know what" out of you, how can we prevent child sexual abuse. Prevention is made difficult by the following factors: 80% of sexual abuse occurs in one-on-one situations and since parents think they can identify a perpetrator they don't worry about leaving their child alone with a "trusted" adult. Also, most children are naive about sex and sexual boundaries because their parents are uncomfortable talking about it. Parents also assume their child will tell them if they are abused.
Most importantly AVOID ONE-ON-ONE SITUATIONS WITH A CHILD!! Forgive the "screaming" but it is so simple that I had to emphasize the point. Don't be alone with a child and don't leave your child alone with any adult. When a one-on-one situation can not be avoided (the Darkness to Light website indicates that normal one-on-one time is good for a child's self esteem) make sure that some basic rules are followed.
- Get specifics about the plans
- Public places are best
- Drop in unexpectedly
- Notice your child’s behavior and response to questions when they return
- Announce that you and your child are educated about sexual abuse
Don't fall victim to the common misconception of a perpetrator who is the sulking man in a trench coat in the park. Sexual Abuse Perpetrators look and act “normal” and they very careful “groom” children for abuse. "Grooming" includes gaining the trust of parents and exposing the child to inappropriate talk and behavior slowly so that suspicions are not raised. Some parents worry that talking to their children about sex will take away their innocence. When handled appropriately talk about sex makes the child comfortable with their bodies and encourages them to continue talking with their parents. Most importantly it allows parents to teach their children sexual boundaries so that a perpetrator can not exploit the child's naivity. Children need to be told that abusers may be people he/she knows.
The misconception parents have that their children will tell them if they are abused, couldn't be more wrong. Children are more likely to tell a trusted adult other than a parent. Perpetrators of abuse use many tactics to ensure the child doesn’t tell. They threaten the child and his/her family. They tell the child it is their fault and how disappointed everyone will be if they knew. They will also tell the child that there is nothing wrong with the abuse, it is just a game. It's no wonder that when children do tell someone of the abuse they only share limited information to gauge the reaction.
Because of the child's hesitancy it is important how you react. It is critical that you remain observant of your child's behavior. Notice different or inappropriate behavior in your child and explore the reason why he/she is exhibiting this behavior. It is critical that you remain calm and objective. If the child senses that you are agitated, emotional or angry they will shut down. Children have a tendency to blame themselves and they don't want to make trouble. This is why the negative emotions can be scary for the child even if those emotions are not directed at the child. Ask open-ended questions of the child in a non-threatening way. Remember that only 1 to 4% of all reported sexual abuse cases are based on false accusations. So, your child is telling the truth make sure you acknowledge that because he/she needs your support.
Report any incidents of abuse and act on suspicions. The Darkness to Light website provided many resources for reporting abuse, getting assistance for abused children and even just to ask questions or help evaluating suspicions. Just one of those numbers is the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453
The statistics indicate that sexual abuse among children is of epidemic proportions. It is so important that we do all we can to stop this tragedy. Support organizations which work to prevent child abuse and support victims. One of the most valuable things that you can do is talk about the problem. If everyone got over their fears and discomfort regarding this subject many of the misconceptions wouldn't exist. The more educated people are the less likely they will be to leave an opporutnity for their child to be sexually abused.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Back from Blogging Hiatus
So do you know what hiatus means? I didn't until I moved to Florida and started living near a road called Hiatus. Then at some point I was told that the road was called Hiatus because it was supposed to be the last road before the Everglades. It was the end of the development. Well, I live west of Hiatus so the road was not the end of development it was just an interruption in the development. So, the road is aptly named.
I was thinking about this because I got tagged for excellence by Heaven Above at Wildlife Alive and I was really touched by her concern for the animals who have lost their habitat to the humans. Much of South Florida sits on what used to be the Everglades so occasionally there are some incidents with wildlife. Some of the wildlife has adapted fairly well to us humans but others are just too threatening to the average human. Just like the bears that Heaven Above writes about the alligators here sometimes get a bad reputation. In the end, they are just trying to survive.
So, Heaven Above tagged my post Another Day in Paradise for excellence because it made her laugh. I'm so glad for that. On some of the really tough days at my previous employer, I would tell my friends that I have to laugh because otherwise I'd cry. Ever felt that way?
Now time for me to tag someone else for excellence.
I have to tag Zhu at Correr Es Mi Destino for her excellent post Losing my Religion. I am a religious person and I just loved the respectful debate that this post created.
The only thing is; I was so hooked on reading this post and all the comments that I ran out of time to find other bloggers to tag. I would suggest that you check out any of the blogs in the list "My Favorite Blogs".
I do hope that I'll be able to get back to blogging regularly. I have so many ideas for posts, I just wish I had time for them all.
I was thinking about this because I got tagged for excellence by Heaven Above at Wildlife Alive and I was really touched by her concern for the animals who have lost their habitat to the humans. Much of South Florida sits on what used to be the Everglades so occasionally there are some incidents with wildlife. Some of the wildlife has adapted fairly well to us humans but others are just too threatening to the average human. Just like the bears that Heaven Above writes about the alligators here sometimes get a bad reputation. In the end, they are just trying to survive.
So, Heaven Above tagged my post Another Day in Paradise for excellence because it made her laugh. I'm so glad for that. On some of the really tough days at my previous employer, I would tell my friends that I have to laugh because otherwise I'd cry. Ever felt that way?
Now time for me to tag someone else for excellence.
I have to tag Zhu at Correr Es Mi Destino for her excellent post Losing my Religion. I am a religious person and I just loved the respectful debate that this post created.
The only thing is; I was so hooked on reading this post and all the comments that I ran out of time to find other bloggers to tag. I would suggest that you check out any of the blogs in the list "My Favorite Blogs".
I do hope that I'll be able to get back to blogging regularly. I have so many ideas for posts, I just wish I had time for them all.
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