Why a Pen Name

It goes along with the self-delusion that my writing may actually be good and people may actually read this blog. If people do read this blog and I used my real name then my real friends and family may hear about it. I want to be anonymous so that I can say what I think with out worrying how the people I know will feel about it. I am really not a false person just very sensitive about offending those I love and I know that many of my opinions disagree sharply with the beliefs held by most of my family. I think they know it too because there seems to be an unspoken agreement that we don't talk about certain subjects.

To start off this blog, I want to share why I chose the name that I did. I named myself after three women who had a significant positive effect on my life.

Angela is the first name of my first true friend. I could say that she saved my life because she befriended me when we were in middle school and at that time I was considering suicide. She didn't realize it but she made me give life a second chance. She was an angel to me.

May is my older sister's middle name. This sister practically raised me and we share a close bond. I always knew my sister had stuck up for me in the rough and tumble family we had but I didn't realize what it had cost her until I confessed to her that I had been sexually abused by our brother. Turns out that when I was just a baby she was being sexually abused by another brother. When my mom and dad went away she would go and hide from my brother. She would hear me crying and she would come out of hiding to protect me even though she knew my brother was making me cry just to get her to come out.

Packard is the maiden name of my mother-in-law and the contribution that she made to my life was raising a son that is respectful, loving and understanding. Being from a family where the boys were cruel and self-serving made me appreciate what it takes to raise good children. I'm sure my father-in-law had a hand in the raising of my good husband as well but none of his name worked for my pen name.

So, now you know the other reason why I'm using a pen name ... dark family secrets. But don't jump to conclusions just yet. In everyone there is good and bad.