The Bag Lady Stories

Earlier this week I was browsing around Zhu's blog and saw a meme that she had done. It was the "What's in your bag" meme. I loved it!! I ended up following the links to all the people she had tagged and on to some people they had tagged. Maybe I'm nosy or something but I thought it was a lot of fun. I was absolutely rolling when I saw this meme done by "the frogster" on the blog The Frog Bog.

I take the bus to work and sometimes I'm carrying several bags with me. So, I willingly refer to myself as the "Bag Lady" on those days. I feel that there is a "bag for every purpose and a purpose for every bag". Here are the stories of all my bags.

The yoga bag:



Pearl art supply stores were having a promotion where if you bought enough big things like 3 foot by 4 foot sheets of picture matting they gave you a free bag. Well, I wanted the bag because my yoga mat was really a camping mat (the kind you sleep on when camping) and it was big. I liked my camping/yoga mat because it was softer than the traditional yoga mat and my knees hurt if I don't have some cushioning. Well, fortunately my husband needed to buy some matting for his photos and I got the bag!!

The beach bag:



This bag was a gift from some very good friends. Not only is it my favorite color but it is also the perfect size for a bag a snacks, a beach towel, something to drink and a book. It is also OK to wash this bag in the washing machine so it really is perfect for going to the beach.

The Sunday school bag:










It was a Christmas gift from our host daughter an exchange student from Thailand. it is just the right size for my scriptures, the lesson manuals and a notebook for me to capture great ideas. My husband claims that I'm planning on starting a church of my own and that's why I'm taking notes. I particularly like to take this bag to church because the little babies are fascinated by the flashy decorations. This gives me a chance to play with the baby. That totally distracts me from taking notes but it is so much more fun.

The Toastmasters bag:
This bag isn't actually from the Toastmaster's organization it is just the bag I use to keep all my Toastmaster's stuff together. This bag was part of the new employee package at my current job. You could probably tell that it was a "gift" from the health insurance providers who were competing for the new employees' attention. This past weekend I celebrated my five year anniversary working for the same organization. I moved to a different department about six months ago to escape the Dr. Evil boss otherwise I wouldn't have made it to five years.

Miscellaneous other bags:
This is an assortment of bags that I use occasionally. The little black and brown bag I picked up in Thailand because I needed something small to carry a little cash, my Thai to English book, a cell phone and some chap stick. I still use it any time I just need to carry a few things with me and a pants pocket just isn't big enough. The white bag with pink handles is for sneaking popcorn into the movies. It is a very specialized bag. My sister gave it to me and I just haven't found any other purpose for it. The black bag with the beautiful needle work on it was purchased in Laos and it is the bag I carry with me when I'm following my husband around on one of his photography outings. Because he spends so much time getting just the right shot, I need something to do. I'll carry a book, some water and anything else to keep me entertained while I wait.

The very, very special bag:

This bag is a very special bag because I searched for it and I found not just what I was looking for but I found what my heart desired. I wanted a sleek purse that could keep me organized. Something that was set up for my planner but had space for a cell phone, all my credit cards, and a pen. Then I found the perfect bag and even better they had the style in red!! However this bag was supposed to be for work and I need to look professional. Red is not a conservative color and I have been raised a conservative. The dilemma was heart wrenching. I picked up the black purse and looked it over. I picked up the red purse and put it back. I started to the register with the black one and then went back for the red one. I started at it for awhile. Red will definitely not match my clothes every day. I'm really not the type of person who will change my purse to match my clothes. Usually I just have a black purse so it isn't a problem. But I really, really like the red purse. Well, as you can see, I did buy the red purse. It is such a beautiful purse.

After several years of enjoying my beautiful red purse, I noticed that more often than not it was getting shoved into my larger work bag because I just had too many things to carry. I now have a Blackberry so I don't need the paper planner and I found a small coin purse that fits my driver's license, some credit cards and some cash. So, now the red purse only comes out when I need to look professional and it's the only bag I'm going to carry. (i.e. job interviews)

The work bag:

It is a big black bag that carries everything I could possibly fit into it. It was acquired at a technology conference which is apparent from the not subtle advertising across the front. Everything in this bag is absolutely essential. There is the umbrella for the always expected Florida rain, my little red bag for my makeup because I never have time to apply it before I leave the house so I do it on the bus on my way to work, my pink Clinique bag for discretely carrying unmentionables, a couple of books to read while I'm riding the bus and my work notebook because I occasionally feel like working on something even when I'm not at work. There is the miscellaneous little stuff like my employee id, my blackberry with wired ear piece (wireless ear pieces cost too much!!), a few pills, some hydro-cortizone (I think that got left in there one day when I had an annoying bug bite), and various papers which were at one time very important (they had to have been or I wouldn't have kept them).

There is more story behind this bag. At the technology conference where I got the bag, one of the tech companies had a party and hired an artist to draw caricatures of people as super heros. Wonder Woman was always my favorite super hero so of course I had the artist draw me as Wonder Woman.



Now, if I had a cool little invisible airplane too keep all my stuff in I wouldn't need so many bags. Well, maybe just one or two.

I'm going to tag: Amel, Victorya, and The Pioneer Woman

Preventing the Sexual Abuse of Children

As promised back in September, I am posting some additional information on child sexual abuse. I actually gave a speech today in my Toastmasters Club on the topic so here is the information I prepared for that.

Here are some statistics that I got from the Darkness To Light website:
- Before age 18 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused
- There are 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in the United States
- 90% of sexually abused children are victimized by people they know
- 40% of sexual abuse cases have a perpetrator who is an older or larger child
- The median age of sexual abuse is 9 years old
- 70 to 80% of abused children have substance abuse problems as they get older
- 50% of abused boys have suicidal thoughts
- 60% of teen pregnancies are preceded by sexual abuse

A frightening statistic that I got from the website Keep Your Child Safe says that 1 in 20 adults have pedophile tendencies!

Now that I have scared the "you know what" out of you, how can we prevent child sexual abuse. Prevention is made difficult by the following factors: 80% of sexual abuse occurs in one-on-one situations and since parents think they can identify a perpetrator they don't worry about leaving their child alone with a "trusted" adult. Also, most children are naive about sex and sexual boundaries because their parents are uncomfortable talking about it. Parents also assume their child will tell them if they are abused.

Most importantly AVOID ONE-ON-ONE SITUATIONS WITH A CHILD!! Forgive the "screaming" but it is so simple that I had to emphasize the point. Don't be alone with a child and don't leave your child alone with any adult. When a one-on-one situation can not be avoided (the Darkness to Light website indicates that normal one-on-one time is good for a child's self esteem) make sure that some basic rules are followed.
- Get specifics about the plans
- Public places are best
- Drop in unexpectedly
- Notice your child’s behavior and response to questions when they return
- Announce that you and your child are educated about sexual abuse

Don't fall victim to the common misconception of a perpetrator who is the sulking man in a trench coat in the park. Sexual Abuse Perpetrators look and act “normal” and they very careful “groom” children for abuse. "Grooming" includes gaining the trust of parents and exposing the child to inappropriate talk and behavior slowly so that suspicions are not raised. Some parents worry that talking to their children about sex will take away their innocence. When handled appropriately talk about sex makes the child comfortable with their bodies and encourages them to continue talking with their parents. Most importantly it allows parents to teach their children sexual boundaries so that a perpetrator can not exploit the child's naivity. Children need to be told that abusers may be people he/she knows.

The misconception parents have that their children will tell them if they are abused, couldn't be more wrong. Children are more likely to tell a trusted adult other than a parent. Perpetrators of abuse use many tactics to ensure the child doesn’t tell. They threaten the child and his/her family. They tell the child it is their fault and how disappointed everyone will be if they knew. They will also tell the child that there is nothing wrong with the abuse, it is just a game. It's no wonder that when children do tell someone of the abuse they only share limited information to gauge the reaction.

Because of the child's hesitancy it is important how you react. It is critical that you remain observant of your child's behavior. Notice different or inappropriate behavior in your child and explore the reason why he/she is exhibiting this behavior. It is critical that you remain calm and objective. If the child senses that you are agitated, emotional or angry they will shut down. Children have a tendency to blame themselves and they don't want to make trouble. This is why the negative emotions can be scary for the child even if those emotions are not directed at the child. Ask open-ended questions of the child in a non-threatening way. Remember that only 1 to 4% of all reported sexual abuse cases are based on false accusations. So, your child is telling the truth make sure you acknowledge that because he/she needs your support.

Report any incidents of abuse and act on suspicions. The Darkness to Light website provided many resources for reporting abuse, getting assistance for abused children and even just to ask questions or help evaluating suspicions. Just one of those numbers is the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453

The statistics indicate that sexual abuse among children is of epidemic proportions. It is so important that we do all we can to stop this tragedy. Support organizations which work to prevent child abuse and support victims. One of the most valuable things that you can do is talk about the problem. If everyone got over their fears and discomfort regarding this subject many of the misconceptions wouldn't exist. The more educated people are the less likely they will be to leave an opporutnity for their child to be sexually abused.

Back from Blogging Hiatus

So do you know what hiatus means? I didn't until I moved to Florida and started living near a road called Hiatus. Then at some point I was told that the road was called Hiatus because it was supposed to be the last road before the Everglades. It was the end of the development. Well, I live west of Hiatus so the road was not the end of development it was just an interruption in the development. So, the road is aptly named.

I was thinking about this because I got tagged for excellence by Heaven Above at Wildlife Alive and I was really touched by her concern for the animals who have lost their habitat to the humans. Much of South Florida sits on what used to be the Everglades so occasionally there are some incidents with wildlife. Some of the wildlife has adapted fairly well to us humans but others are just too threatening to the average human. Just like the bears that Heaven Above writes about the alligators here sometimes get a bad reputation. In the end, they are just trying to survive.

So, Heaven Above tagged my post Another Day in Paradise for excellence because it made her laugh. I'm so glad for that. On some of the really tough days at my previous employer, I would tell my friends that I have to laugh because otherwise I'd cry. Ever felt that way?

Now time for me to tag someone else for excellence.

I have to tag Zhu at Correr Es Mi Destino for her excellent post Losing my Religion. I am a religious person and I just loved the respectful debate that this post created.

The only thing is; I was so hooked on reading this post and all the comments that I ran out of time to find other bloggers to tag. I would suggest that you check out any of the blogs in the list "My Favorite Blogs".

I do hope that I'll be able to get back to blogging regularly. I have so many ideas for posts, I just wish I had time for them all.